One morning, the new owner of a saloon was setting up his establishment for the day
He heard a commotion from the street and walked out to see people jumping onto their horses, climbing into buggies, or just running away.
“Hey,” the owner called to one of the men. “What’s going on?”
“You better run, barkeep,” the man replied. “Big Ed’s a’comin’, and can’t nobody stop him from doin’ what he wants!” Then the man spurred around and rode off.
Panicked, the saloon owner ran back inside to grab his money box, but before he could leave, a huge man stepped through the door. He was seven feet tall and four hundred pounds of solid muscle, with a thick black beard and angry eyes. “Barkeep!” He slammed a hand on the bar, splintering it. “Gimme all four a’them bottles of redeye you got there on the shelf.”
Shaking with fear, the saloon owner passed the bottles over, and the giant bit the neck off every bottle before downing the contents in one swallow each. He gave a huge belch, tossed a $20 gold piece on the bar, and turned to leave.
“Is there anything else you wanted?” The saloon owner asked.
“Nope,” said the giant. “Gotta leave, Big Ed’s a’comin’!”
