Just as a car crosses over a bridge, a cop jumps out from behind a bush and signals the driver to the pull over.
The cop walks over to the car window and says “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?”
The driver responds “No sir I do not, but it couldn’t have been much faster than 50…””Actually…” says the cop “you were driving 62 in a 55 zone.
I’m going to need to see your license and registration.”
So the driver hands over the documentation and as the cop is writing out the ticket he asks “What can I put down as your profession?”
to which the driver responds “I’m a rectum stretcher officer”.
Stunned, the cop says “What the hell is a rectum stretcher???” and the driver begins explaining:
“Well, you see, first I lubricate the anus and insert a finger. Once it has accepted my digit with ease I insert a second, then a third and eventually work my way up to an entire fist.
When I have achieved this I begin inserting my other hand, finger by finger until I have both fists in the rectum and it is then that I start gently pulling, tugging and stretching it, wider and wider until the anus is around 6 foot in diameter.”
Pale as a ghost and clearly in shock the police officer asks “What the hell would anyone do with a 6 foot asshole????”
to which the driver responds:
“Well usually you put him behind a bush at the end of a bridge with a speed camera.”
