So, one day a monk goes fishing. He walks out on the pier, throws that line out there nice and good, and lets it rest for a bit. BAM! Fish on! And man, is he fighting! Falling over, sliding across the pier, no good! Some good Samaritans decide to help. They prop him up, and fight that good fight! Before you know it, they land that monster. Exhausted, they all look at one another…
The seasoned fisherman, was beside himself. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Everyday he’d been down here fishing for the biggest fish just off this pier, and this monk just throws one out and HE CATCHES IT! First cast…
The monk, overjoyed, asks the seasoned fisherman that helped him reel this big ol’ fish in asked “What kind of fish is this?” the bitter fisherman responded, “Well, THAT is one BIG son of a bitch!”. The monk warned his newfound fishing friends that it was against the Lord to curse. The bitter fisherman said to the monk, “Oh, no my friend, you misunderstand! That fish… it’s called a SONOFABITCH. “Ah, I see”, he says, and he walks happily back to his monastery.
That monk walks through the door and slams that big SONOFABITCH down on the table and says to the Friar “I caught this big SONOFABITCH!!!” and the Friar punched the taste right out of his mouth.
“Now son, you are a child of God. You must not defile yourself by cursing…”
“No, you misunderstand me! I caught this big thing with the help of a seasoned fisherman! This is it’s name!!”
“I see. I’m sorry for not understanding. I will clean this big SONOFABITCH for you.” And so he did.
Now see, interestingly, there was a convent across the street. As luck would have it, the Pope was going to be around for dinner.
The Friar walked across the street to the convent and met a sister at the door. He said “Look at this HUGE SONOFABITCH that we brought for dinner!!” and the sister said SLAP!
“Now Friar, we don’t use such words! You are a child of God, are you not?” And of course the Friar answers so. “I will allow you entrance, but I am married to the Lord. Please show respect!” And so the Friar promises.
The sister takes the fish to her Mother and says “This big SONOFABITCH is from the monastery across the street. Brother caught this big SONOFABITCH, Friar cleaned this big SONOFABITCH, and…” WHAM!!!
“Now sister… You are married to Christ our Lord. You should never, ever use that kind of language!” Sister replies “Mother! You misunderstand! The monks! They told me that this fish is called a SONOFABITCH.” I see, mother says. I will cook it.
Later that evening, the Pope and all of his people come to visit for a fantastic dinner between this convent and monastery. All is well. The table is laid out as perfectly as you can expect.
As they sit down, the places are made meticulously. The food is served. The Pope takes one bite and asks “Where did you get this fish??”
The brother stands up and says “I caught that SONOFABITCH!”
The friar stands up and says “I cleaned that SONOFABITCH!”
The sister stands up and says “I cooked that SONOFABITCH!”
And the Mother says “I carried that heavy SONOFABITCH out here all the way way to the table just so that you might enjoy it!”
The Pope looks around at all of them. He takes a good solid pause. Eyes shifting about the table. He finally leans back, throws his legs up on the table and says “I knew you muthafuckas were aight!”