It snowed last night

It snowed last night

8.00am I made a snowman

8.10am A feminist passed by and asked why I didn’t make a snowwoman
8.15am So I made a snow woman

8.17am My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest, saying it objectified snow women everywhere

8.20am The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead

8.22am The transgender man….women…..person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts

8.25am The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8.28am I was being called a racist because the snow couple was white

8.30am The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up

8.40am The police arrived saying someone had been offended

8.42am The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role

8.43am The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction

8.45am TV crews from the BBC showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?. I replied ” snowballs” and am now a sexist.

9.00am I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophone, sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9.10am I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken away by social services.

9.20am Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the road demanding for my arrest.

By noon all the snow had melted.

There is no moral to this story, It is what this country has become, all because of snowflakes