A guy walks into a barbershop and sits in the l chair. The barber asks, “Are you going anywhere on holiday this year?”
Guy replies, “Yes actually, my wife and I are going to Italy.” Barber says, “Why you going there? It’s rubbish!” G
uy says, “Well, the weather is supposed to be nice.” The barber replies, “Well, when me and my wife went to Italy a few years ago, it pissed down with rain every day we were there.”
The guy says, “Well, I hear the food is nice.” The barber laughs. “When me and the wife went, the stuff they gave us was almost inedible.”
The guy says, “Um, well, we’d really like to see the Roman architecture.” “You’ll be lucky,” says the barber. “They’re doing the place up. Tarpaulin and scaffolding everywhere. Can’t see a thing!”
Frustrated, the guy turns to him and says, “Okay mate, I’ll square it with you. The wife and I, we’re Catholic.
And we’d really like to go to the Vatican and see the Pope.” The barber quickly answers. “Well, me and the wife are also Catholic. And we wanted to see the Pope too.
But when we went to St Peter’s Square, we were crammed into it with a million other Catholics and when he was on the balcony, all you could see was the tip of his hat… Honestly.
Don’t go to Italy.” A month passes and finally the guy returns to the barbershop and sits in the same chair.
The barber says, “Oh yeah, weren’t you the guy who was going to Italy?” “Yes I was,” replies the guy. “And I have some issues to raise with you.
Firstly, the sun was splitting the trees every day, the weather was amazing. Secondly, the food… pizza, pasta… it was incredible.
Thirdly… You said we wouldn’t be able to see the Roman architecture. In fact, we could touch it.
It was astoundng to be so close to ancient history.” “Ah,” says the barber, “but did you see the Pope?”
“Well yes,” admits the guy, “we did go to St Peter’s Square and we were crammed in there with a million other Catholics, and when the Pope came out all we could see was the tip of his hat… We were disappointed. But then!
His bejewelled hands came over the balcony and pointed to our section of the crowd. All the Catholics began murmuring. I was like, ‘What is going on?!’
“Then the Pope came out into the square, flanked by his Swiss Guard and all of his top cardinals, and he began his way into the crowd, which parted before him like the Red Sea.
The crowd began to grow excited and I could see he was making our way in our direction, his hat bobbing through the people .
Then suddenly, the folks in front of us moved and there was the Pope, the Bishop of Rome, standing before us, looking at ME! “
Then the Holy Father himself reached out and gently took my hand, and gazing upon me, he asked, ‘Who the FU*K cut your hair?’”