I run downstairs and open the door. There’s a bloke there looking a bit desperate and says, “I know it’s really late, but can you give me a push”.
I tell him to piss off and I go back to bed.
Wife asks who it was – I tell her. She says I’m a right cunt for not helping and I should give him a push.
I shoot back down stairs and out the front looking for the car,
I can’t see him so I yell out “where are you” he replies, “I’m over here on the swing”.