- I just printed on Wireless Printer but not sure which neighbor has my document.
- The easiest way to double your money is to fold it over.
- Facebook funny status: Tomato is a fruit so do not put it in a fruit salad.
- Two things are common in politicians and diapers, both need to change regularly.
- We live in a society where pizza gets to your house earlier than Police do.
- You can go wherever you want if carry a clipboard.
- ‘Hold my purse’, words to humiliate men everywhere.
- Don’t argue with an idiot. They beat you with their experience.
- My pillow could be my hairstylist because I wake up to weird hairstyles.
- People write Congrats on my wall because they do not know the spelling of Congratulations.
- The trouble with being punctual is that no one cares.
- Marriage is similar to go to a restaurant, order something, and then looks at the nearby table, and wish you would order that.
- If you get difficult questions in life, Google gives you answers.
- Money cannot buy happiness. It pays for the internet, which is the same thing.
- FACEBOOK STORY is to add the friend – Approve -> Write on the wall -Chatting– Block.
- Get ready to be in prison for stealing my heart and hijacking my feelings.
- If you are reading this, be happy you know how to read.
- Facebook is a fridge. Yes, because when you are alone, you open it to see if there’s anything.
- You know what; the zoo is the best place to fart.
- I am not 40 years old; I am just 18 years with 22 years of experience.
- When somebody is doing dishes and I put another plate on the sink.
- Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
- Doctors checked out a boy’s brain; on the left side, nothing is right; and on the right side, nothing left.
- Reduce weight, first turn your head to the left then turn it to the right. Repeat this until you get anything to eat from either of the sides.
- Distinguish a lady and a woman? A lady does what she has taught, and a woman does what she wants.
- I am jealous of my parents. I can never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- Can I click your picture? I love pictures of natural disasters.
- I cannot lose weight. The shampoo I use says ‘for extra volume and body.’
- I am a smart person but just do stupid things.
- Learn a lesson from your dog, kick some grass over the shit, and move on.
Top 30 Facebook Funny Quotes
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