He knows its easy pickings for DUI’s as the bar closes. Sure enough, right at 2am, a man stumbles out to his car.
The cop watches as he fumbles to get his keys out, struggles to unlock and open the door,
and drops the keys repeatedly before finally getting them in the ignition and starting the car.
As soon as he pulls onto the street, the cop flicks on his lights and pulls him over.
“Sir, how much have you had to drink tonight?”
“Nothing, I’ve just been drinking soda all night.”
“Sir, I have reason to believe you’re intoxicated. Please step out of the car.”
The cop administers the usual sobriety tests – reciting the alphabet, walking the white line, touching is nose – and the man passes. The cop brings out the breathalyzer, and he blows a zero – completely sober.
“I don’t get it. I watched you stumble out of that bar, fumble your way into it, and drop your keys trying to get it started. Yet here you are stone cold sober. What happened?”
“Oh, tonight I’m the designated decoy.”